The Coyne'r'Butch Christmas Letter 2006

My grandfather's name was Coyne Carl; my Dad's name is, Coyne Lenard. My name is Coyne Eugene. Growing up, to avoid confusion, my Dad and I were given nicknames: Sonny and Butch, respectively. So, to everyone at home, I am Butch—not only do I respond to the name I actually use it as well, automatically. (Such as in, "Hello, this is Butch.")

But I like the name Coyne and I wanted everyone to know that was my name. So when I left home for college, I first tried to figure out a way to introduce myself as Coyne ("but call me Butch"). The methods I tried seemed clumsy and confusing to others, so I finally settled for introducing myself simply as Coyne.

Now, of course, I was doing this letter and the question arose: Should it be "Coyne's" Christmas letter or "Butch's"? I settled for both.

So what else should I write? Hmmm....

Because I only write Christmas letters once in a blue Christmas (like a blue moon, but even more rare) I'm pretty sure I haven't written anything since I became a Software Architect at Florida Hospital. This is kind of like having a job, but with lots of fun stuff like telling everyone else how to build software instead of them telling you (at least part of the time). More accurately, a Software Architect is a person that chooses strategies for software design and direction, in order to provide a stable base for application development. (That was really clear, huh?)

Before I was a Software Architect, I was a Systems Programmer. That was in 2003 (see how rare a blue Christmas is?) and I was only in that role for about 5 months before being volunteered (literally) to this role. Not only did I not have much choice in the matter, but it was kind of nice to be volunteered for a job I actually had wanted to do since 1994.

Hmmm...oh, yeah, a picture would be good. Looks weird, doesn't it? This was a self-portrait I took December 8^th using a time delay, and I look a bit...forced. That's because I would set the timer and then frantically try to get to the right place to be in the picture. The picture came out pretty well, considering...it's me anyway. (Can you believe I used to have hair?)

This was taken in a local nature preserve, the Rock Springs Preserve. (Yes, even though the Florida state bird is the "construction crane", there are still a few things we haven't paved over.)

I sent a second card to as many of you as I could before I ran out. It showed a flamingo surrounded by Christmas lights. I tell you, Christmas in Orlando, Florida can be really surreal if you're from up north. Other weird things I've seen:

• Christmas lights laid out on green grass. (It only snows in Orlando once in a cerulean Christmas.)
• A flamingo in a creche.
• This year, everyone's doing big bubbles with snowmen inside. (Bubble-snowmen, I guess.) Some of them have blowers that throw up a spray of styrofoam balls that are supposed to look like snow. (The first time I saw one of those in a front yard, I thought it was a fountain of water. Actually, they're supposed to look like a snow globe.)
• A local favorite: Palm trees wrapped in green lights, so they look like a—palm tree.
• A Santa, in sleigh, towed by flamingos.

Of course, Florida isn't the only place that has surreal things at Christmas. I'm writing this from Sheridan, Wyoming, where I'm visiting for the holidays, and the winning contestant is the candy cane in a yard here. It is all lit up with lights and has on it a flashing sign, arrow shaped, that is labeled, "North Pole." It is, of course, pointing...south??!?